When a translation is so bad that it is funny.
August 12, 2013 § 39 Comments
Those of you who are regular followers of this blog know that I use original material for its contents. Today will be an exception as I decided to share with you a translation that is so bad that it has made it around the world provoking laughter and disbelief all over the planet. I am sure that many of you have heard about it, and I have no doubt that some of you have seen it before. It is an English translation of a Mandarin brochure given to a colleague while she was staying at this facility. I do not know who translated it, and your guess is as good as mine; however, it is clear that regardless of who translated: human or machine, there was a total lack of knowledge of the basics of cross-cultural communication.
Let’s use this as an example of everything that can go wrong when you try to save money by hiring a bad “bilingual” individual or “employ” the services of a machine. It is also evidence of why it is necessary to understand the culture that permeates the environment of the target language. Please keep all of these factors in mind as you read this “translation” even if you have to pause and compose yourself after laughing so hard. And now, the worst translation ever:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.”
Please remember, this is a great example that you can use with your clients when attempting to explain the importance of a good translation, and also, it is a great text to take to your next party. Please share with us any other examples of poor translations you may have encountered during your career, even if they are not as dramatic as this one.
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